WOW OMG HEY HI WHATS UP!?
SOOO things have been not so peachy keen jelly bean.
Well. I suppose that is a bit hyperbolic. Things indeed have been peachy as it is peach season (albeit the tail end which is violently upsetting because summer is my favourite OR MY NAME ISN'T SUMMER!!!!!).
This summer has been a bit tumultuous. Some health problems really flared and I think my mental health really took an impact when I made a huge decision to quit my job.
Yep. I quit my salary job, within days of that decision had an interview at my favourite bakery in town and ba-ding-ba-da-boom I start next week.
While I look back at being an M.A and law school hopeful I can't help but become overcome with anxiety. I think a lot of people look at this jump I am making and don't fully understand how hard it has been and will be. Some people are supportive and understandably a lot of people aren't and that's okay.
Leaving something stable and being well-educated lends itself to people having certain expectations. A lot of this past week has been separating what OTHER people want me to VS what I want to do.
To be honest I think staying at my day job was out of fear of what people would think of me if I quit. Quitting to work in a bakery to get experience? Working on expanding my small business and growing my client base? INSTEAD OF LAW SCHOOL OR A PhD?!!!!!
The reality is. I almost died. For reasons I won't get into right now but I struggled with my health for a very long time. Mentally -- Grad school really broke my spirit and it took me a long time to function as a normal person after that. Going out or being social or even really just being 'me' was never an option. Having a blog where I can somewhat be vocal (I know I am not Sallys Baking Addiction with millions of views but that's okay) has been huge. And in the end my business and blog are what allowed me to get my bakery job because it became an easily accessible portfolio that really portrayed who I am,
Why is this important? If I die tomorrow I don't want to live a life without passion -- including at least ATTEMPTING to pursue a career in a field that fills me with joy. Has it been hard? Hell yeah. Financially especially as I try and escape my student loans. But I am living and breathing and that really should be all that matters. Society complicates that for us but our human essence is driven biologically by the desire to survive so in the most basic sense I should be thrilled.
Why am I telling you this amidst photos of beautiful muffins??!
Because I hope it gives you the courage you need to take a risk, however small, in finding your happiness. I want you to know that finding your happiness is a long road.
It may involve finding your misery first. Maybe a lot of misery and heart ache and struggle. But if you can break free from whatever it is that's holding you back you will hit the bed every day feeling like you are truly moving towards something.
It may be starting a blog or finally becoming a certified personal trainer. Or maybe taking some certificate courses at a local college.
At the end of the day if you are living for someone else it's not them that gets impacted, it's you.
So outside of my snarky sarcasm and offbeat sense of humour I have been doing a lot of thinking and just wanted to share. If I can motivate one of you little stud muffins then, that shall be enough for me :)
BUT BLAH WHATEVER LET'S TALK ABOUT BAKING NOW MMMMM, KAY?!
I have been watching a lot of South Park. Forgive me ;)